The Autistic Experience

Moving on can be lonely and being alone can be terrifying but if we rely on ourselves, we are never alone.

We spend endless energy in trying to please and love people. It is a long process where we let someone in, expose ourselves to them and chose to be vulnerable just so we can be hurt. A cycle that always continues. We let people in, and they break our heart. Never enough, and never again. Alas we hope a may, in the hope of an allay and stray from the love we chose for ourselves. We forget that in this journey to love ourselves we are alone, and no one truly loves us. We are by ourselves. We are like moths who have burned ourselves into a flame just to love and make their lives better and they are like the wind that comes into our life and extinguishes our flame, every second at time. We can not grow in their wind and the fate of a flame is always destined to burn alone. Like the flame we are misunderstood, our love burned our souls to be their flame in their darkness and we are blamed for burning hot. We are seen as destruction and not light in the sanity. We gave ourselves to them and with their disdain we extinguish.

Life is filled with people who come into our lives, we can choose to invite them in, but they can never love us. It is darkness in the end, and we can only burn for ourselves. Rejoice, when we burn for ourselves, we know the sacrifice and the love, we replenish our soul and as we wither we will remember we burned for someone who valued it.