The Autistic Experience

I see you and in you I see myself. A shadow, a glimpse of my past. Sometimes meeting other autistic people can amaze me of the endless beauty we hold. The endless compassion and how our whole universe stands still, and we no longer know how to go without the epicentre of our love. We spin out of the axis and we stand waiting for them to come back. We cannot imagine the betrayal that has shocked us to our core and made our fantasy end. We are in the end dreamers of a world that has true love, kindness, and compassion. And we believe others hold it as much as we do.

Unfortunately, betrayed by the world we enter a cocoon. We are not naturally people who like to retreat. We want to face the world and stand with the one thing we are hyper-focused and brilliant at. For a lot of us we find our niche around understanding people and are better at knowing the nuances of life and navigating the intricacies and depths of humanity. We start at the fundamentality of nature and understand the depths and abstracts of life others are incapable of fathoming. Unfortunately, literalism can be where we retreat to and end up when we don’t find our passion. Lot of us base our entire life around certain people and we are selective of who we allow in but when they enter our orbit our axes shift, and we realign our entirety around them. We see ourselves as the naturalists and worship the experience of fantasy you bring. Our literalism is for this world, and we see the depths of hyperreality that others are not privy of. Essentially, we are portrayed as people who are literal and cannot appreciate the depths of nature, we lack the understanding of duality and cannot imagine what it feels like to be another. What people fail to see is the duality in our nature when we mask ourselves and bring out different versions for them. Our entire cosmos is built around an infinite number of possibilities, and our minds are the gateways to transcendence. We see things as they are and how they should be. Part of our reality is literalism. We see hyperreal versions of reality and experience emotions in magnified intensities. Most of the time that can be overwhelming and cause us to retreat. However, the concepts of abstract are not unknown to us and only because of our ability to experience intensified, hyperreal versions of reality it forces us to make worlds of paracosm. In our paracosm we have a world of fantasy and the world we are forced to face is a mundane world. We enmesh the two worlds and when we allow others to enter our life, they enter our paracosm, the world we have built. Our relations are intense and every moment is magical. On a high of our emotions the reality becomes our paracosm and makes our life stable. We are welcomed into this world that we have detached ourselves from and see stability in life. We start seeing the abstracts and our literalist nature blossoms into an observant and transcendent version of ourselves. The world we live in is bearable because we are saturated in compassion and love for our partners and ourselves. We open our senses to allow us to evolve into thinkers and understand the fantasies of life.  

Alas when the bond breaks, we are thrown back into chaos and the select few who can bear this world live on, while most of us retreat into our paracosms, disabled, and defeated. Reverting to our literalism and unable to see the infinite realms our mind is the gateway into.